a first love’s residue

if i could manipulate tectonics,
i’d fracture the monuments you built from me,
rip them from my ribs, find the wishbone, boil it all in magma
i want to polarize this, trap you in chains of binaries
take you beyond my peripheral, hold you against the light
& see the way history draws portraits of your skin

maybe twist our veins into tightropes,
and string them through that steady tidal basin
which never seems to move

or stop, maybe forget it all,
succumb,
dive into ancient anger
let tension lap us up,
a reel of desperation,
a liberation, no, it’s called regression.

all truly a wasteland:
broken synapses and disbelief
type font and thievery
lavender extract
grainy stationary
the crease of a letter
sometimes i dream of coming to you
locating all our silence,
i imagine begging
along the shores of the lethe
or wishing for a tourniquet or at least
some way to reattach leaves to a tree

but we both know an avalanche
never arranges back to snowflakes

my dear, we’re lost so deeply
i’m not sure how to put you away

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8 thoughts on “a first love’s residue

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